By: Priscila Ulloa

So, you’ve been through the whirlwind of a custody case. Mediation, hearings, and/or trials are behind you, the judgment is finalized, and your parenting plan is officially on paper. You might think this is the finish line, but in reality, it’s just the beginning.

When children are involved, “post-judgment” is where the real work begins. That’s because you and your co-parent will be navigating parenting together until your child reaches the age of majority (and sometimes even beyond when considering college decisions, weddings, graduations, all of that). How you handle co-parenting in these early post-judgment days can set the tone for your child’s life and your co-parenting relationship for years to come. The judgment is your roadmap, but parenting is the journey.

This blog will talk you through what that really means and how to set yourself up for success.

Your Judgment: The Co-Parenting Manual

That 10-20 page judgment you just received? Don’t shove it in a drawer. Print it out, read it, highlight it, and tab it. Treat it like the parenting manual you didn’t know you needed.

Your judgment spells out the default rules: who has the children on which weekends, how holidays are handled, how exchanges work, who makes major decisions, and so on. These “defaults” are essential because they keep everyone on the same page, especially when emotions are running high.

But here’s the reality: life happens. Children get sick. Schedules shift. Holidays conflict. The judgment simply cannot predict every single situation. That is where flexibility and common sense come into play.

Flexibility Matters (In Writing)

Think of your judgment as the baseline, but know that you and your co-parent can always agree to something different temporarily. For clarity and protection, always document any short-term changes in writing.

For example:

  • Want to swap weekends so your child can attend a birthday party? Put it in writing (even a text will do).
  • Need the other parent to cover a school pickup for you? Confirm it in writing.
  • Holiday conflicts with a family wedding? Work it out in writing.

Written agreements avoid any “he said, she said” later and make it easier to keep track of what actually happened.

Kids Grow. Judgments Don’t.

Here’s another important point: a judgment is written in time, but your child and your family will grow and change.

A plan that made perfect sense when your child was three might not work at all when they’re sixteen. Their activities, their schoolwork, their friendships, their work schedule, and even their health needs will evolve. A good attorney can anticipate some of those changes and put them directly into your judgment, but no one can predict them all.

To make changes to your judgment, absent an agreement by the parties, you’ll usually need to file a motion with the court and provide the court with evidence. That’s why it’s so important to stay engaged, keep records of your child’s progress throughout the years, and document your co-parent’s level of participation.

Practical Tips for Post-Judgment Co-Parenting

At this stage, it’s all about staying organized and proactive. Here are some best practices:

  1. Get Access to Records: Ensure you have login access to your child’s medical portals, school portals, therapy updates, extracurricular accounts, and other relevant accounts. Under North Dakota Century Code § 14-09-32 and Minn. Stat. § 518.18, subdiv. 3a, both parents have the right to access their child’s information (even if one parent has been granted sole decision-making authority) unless a court order specifically limits that access. Take the initiative to access these records and don’t rely on the other parent to funnel information about your child.
  2. Track Expenses and Receipts: Keep an organized record of medical bills, extracurricular costs, and any other shared expenses. You can use an app, a spreadsheet, or even a simple folder system. The method doesn’t matter as much as staying consistent. Be mindful of the deadlines outlined in your judgment for submitting expenses and requesting reimbursement. If you’re not tracking and submitting these costs correctly, you could unintentionally give up your right to seek reimbursement later through the court. Using an expense log through an app like Our Family Wizard is extremely helpful to keep organized.
  3. Keep a Communication Log: Again, a parenting app like Our Family Wizard is great for documenting calls, schedules, bills, and communication in one place. If that’s not within your budget, consider setting up your own system: create folders for emails, screenshots of text threads, and a calendar to log changes (whether on paper or through Google Calendar, iCal, or a similar tool) to note any updates/changes. Recording things as they happen will save you the stress and make life much easier down the road in the event a motion is necessary.
  4. Document Key Events/Messages: When it comes to co-parenting or the lack thereof, the details matter. Keep notes on key events and interactions, especially the ones that could impact your child’s well-being or show how well (or how poorly) co-parenting is working.
    • Did the other parent ask to swap weekends? Did they respond politely or with hostility?
    • Has one parent started dating someone new? How is your child reacting to that relationship? How does that new person treat your child?
    • Are medical appointments being scheduled and attended?
  5. Stay Child-Focused: The purpose of documenting isn’t to “catch” the other parent. It’s about making sure your child’s needs are being met. If things break down, you’ll have a record to show the court.

Evidence That Can Matter Down the Road

If you ever need to go back to court, here are the kinds of evidence that often make a difference:

  • Medical and therapy records;
  • School and attendance records;
  • Logs of missed parenting time or consistent schedule changes;
  • Copies of important emails and texts (especially those showing cooperation or lack of);
  • Receipts and records of expenses; and/or
  • Documentation of your child’s progress, struggles, or major changes in behavior.

Final Thoughts

Co-parenting doesn’t pause because the court stamped an order. The parents who navigate post-judgment life the best are those who:

  1. Treat the judgment as their foundation;
  2. Stay flexible when real life throws curveballs; and
  3. Stay organized, document key details, and keep their children’s interest front and center.

If you do these things, you’ll not only be prepared if you ever need to bring a post-judgment motion, but you’ll also be giving your child the stability they deserve.

The information contained in this article and on this website is for informational purposes only. Do not rely on the information on this website as legal advice. Please refer to the full disclaimer here.